It is sad how people become more jaded as they get older. It is experienced such as your that change you.

Years ago, I suspect that my husband was having and emotional or physical affair. After getting angry at the detachment, I really just started becoming bitter and angry. And made an exit plan, with no concern for his wellbeing. I was at the point where I just really didn’t care about him.

We managed to work through it, and then started getting therapy. I had a lightbulb moment when my counselor told me flat out, that if I am unhappy I can absolutely simply leave. Or I could start living my best life on my terms, without the bitterness and resentment.

So I started living my best life. I started taking care of my needs and I certainly stopped putting up with gaslighting and bullshit behaviors.

When he asked if I didn’t want him to have any friends, which meant attractive female friends. I flat out told him no. He could have a wife or the friend. I won’t stand in his way, but I certainly wasn’t going to put up with that bullshit. He wasn’t the trusting person that I once was, and certainly never will be again.

Now I am. not a tyrant, and we certainly have fun together. But I as a person, will never feel like that again. I certainly am a stronger person.

But at what cost? I am no longer the selfless person I once was. But a person who puts themselves first. I kind of miss the old me.

The point of this comment, don’t become like me. A cyclical person. You may not like what you become.