How do you flirt?

I started out by wanting to be friends and then transitioning into more than friends, but found that just cost me friends and people I care about, so movies and tv shows and pretty much every piece of media that I've been exposed to have lied for my entire life. To anyone scouring this post, don't do that. You will only will getting rejected suck, but it will cost you friends and reduce what people think of you to essentially a nothing/no one. Now, I ask them out a couple times, that way the ball is in their court and I don't feel bad when they never get back to me about grabbing lunch. I feel rejected of course, but I always feel like I deserve to be rejected anyway. Cuts out the middleman for the most part, because their silence is exactly the reinforcement I need to continue not talking to them. Goes for most other things in life too. I think I might only have just one or two actual acquaintances left, and that's only counting people that willingly spoke to me without my having to post a dramatic status on facebook. But yeah, desire-smuggling is a real thing when you first meet someone and you want to be more than friends, but they only want to know you around other people so they have the option to use everyone else as a buffer. I haven't had anyone want to be around me more than they initially expressed, so I guess it's normal to talk to people and be up front even if you're terrified about them never acknowledging your existence again. Any time can be the last time you speak to someone. I might never speak to anyone ever again after this post, who knows. I wish I did, so I could have an end in sight for this depression-bed I've been stuck laying in for as long as I can remember.

tl;dr - I flirt by fucking my entire life up, and hoping someone'll be there on the other side. The only one that's ever there is Depression, and she's abusive as fuck. I'd leave her if I could, but there's no escape without her trickling back in any chance she gets. And yes, I personified my Depression so then I can say I'm in an "emotionally committed relationship" with someone instead of being pathetic and depressed and depressing everyone whenever the subject comes up.

/r/AskReddit Thread