It sounds like there is some "unresolved" stuff that needs to be resolved before you can "move on."
I think many societies have a twisted idea of forgiveness. I looked up the definition on Merriam-Webster and this is what it is:
: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone)
: to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)
: to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed)
1 a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital for (forgive an insult) b : to grant relief from payment of (forgive a debt)
2: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon (forgive one's enemies)
Slightly modified for formatting purposes.
So, absorbing all of this, this is what I realized: That TO FORGIVE is such a vague emotional phrase that it means nothing--it has no description, EXCEPT in these cases: "to stop feeling anger," "to stop requiring payment of (something)." That is the only time when "Forgive" is clearly described. Otherwise, it is too vague to be useful.
What it does not mean is that you have to feel goodwill toward your N people. It doesnot mean that you have to love them. It does not mean that you have to let them into your life. It does not mean anything except to "stop feeling anger toward someone" or to "stop expecting payment" for something.
The "stop expecting payment" part is what really stands out to me. You're never going to get repaid for what was done to you. You'll never get what you are owed by your N people. You're never going to get it, no matter what.
So, in my mind, "forgiveness" is when a person stops expecting payment for what was done to them.
And that's it. It does not mean love. It does not mean trust. It does not mean telling people things you don't want to tell them. It does not mean giving people what they want. It does not mean letting people into your life. It only means that you have given up expectations from them. That's it.
But before you can do that, you need to close your accounts with the N people. And it sounds like maybe that's what you're at right now: you still have open accounts with them. And they might be open for a reason--because if you close them too soon, you'll be hurt later on.
Maybe you can listen closely to what your "obsession" is telling you. I bet there is a good reason you can't let go right now--it's a warning that there is something you need to take care of before you can move on.
If this is confusing, my apologies. I'm too tire to think right now!