How do I grow a thicker skin?

I’m also very sensitive.

I’ve invested a lot of time in personal development and surrounded myself with people who are honest and no-frills communicators.

I’ve learned that my sensitivity is the result of getting conflicting verbal and body language cues from people who had authority (parents, aunts, teachers, first job bosses) over me growing up. They would sugar coat necessary critique and not try to help me see things from their prospective or help right the problem. All that was left was the feeling that I can’t do anything right and that the problem was me.

That’s not true. The problem isn’t you. The problem is their ability to communicate with you in a meaningful way that inspires growth. But anxiety and fear stifles growth because you can’t see the problem and without being able to perceive a problem, you can’t possibly find a suitable solution.

The highest rated comment in here hits the nail on the head about people’s emotions, Day, life having everything to do with how they interact with you - which is true and a big sensitivity milestone. You’re just a supporting character in their narrative, not the lead character.

Third, build confidence. Pick a thing and do it really well. Know more about it than anyone else does. When they throw shade, you’ll know it’s because you’re making them feel insecure, which is ok. Why is it ok? Because if they knew more than you, then you’d assume it’s ok for them to make you feel that way.

Model how you want people to behave around you. Be honest in your communication with others, if your having a bad day, let them know briefly so that they will feel comfortable letting you know. Honesty is an overlooked form of respect and it is the remedy. You can absolutely convey your opinion or underlying motive without being a dick and if your boss can’t, then power to you.

I hope this helps.

/r/needadvice Thread