I have hit a weird point of not caring about anything. The old ambitious version of myself is dead. I no longer want to be rich, get married, cohabit, or date at all (I prefer porn to dating in all honesty). I am optimizing to do as little as i can just to get by. I just want to get a computer science degree, get a job that can sustain living, rent out the cheapest apartment i can find, get the fastest internet my area offers, and grind video games 6-8 hours a day. I don't care to do anything else. It's just who I am.

When your life and goals revolves around women then suddenly you take them off the pedestal and realize who they really are, then your old life and goals are worthless. This happens to us all to some degree. It happens the worst to us that were the most blue pilled. Nothing has changed, you just see things like they truly are. You will need to move forward with new goals that do not involve pussy.