How do you handle the grief that comes with your first significant loss?

If there's a hole in your heart, there's a hole in your heart. The only way to get through grief is to feel it, accept it and be okay with it.

And it's so hard. It takes a lot of energy. I visualized my grief as a black hole. But it's not. It's just a very big hole and I didn't know the dimensions of it. But it's not insatiable. I kept filling it stubbornly, slowly, with small things and one day, you realize that you start to be better. Then some days, you feel worse for wear but you remember that day you felt better. You hold on to it.

And so on. The memory of a good day breeds another good day and slowly the hole in your heart gets filled.

I found myself last week sitting in bed, reading a book, with a cup of tea, completely in the moment and at peace. You just have to hang in there.

/r/AskWomenOver30 Thread