How do I handle obligatory family gift giving to someone I am bitter towards?

The amount of emotional manipulation that surrounds gift-giving in your family is nuts. There is no gift you can give in this situation that is going to right any of the wrongs here. There is no gift you can give those children that will lesson the pain of being born to those parents. Buy yourself a nice gift that comes with a "free gift" and then wrap that free gift up and give it to them. A regift of something you have recieved is also a nice choice, as well as used items (thing garage sale).

I know it sounds terrible, but the less emotional investment you have in the gift, the easier it will be to end the cycle of manipulation. They will be disappointed, but that is the point. And since you did not put any personal effort into finding the right gift, their disappointment won't hurt you, you will be expecting it. If you give a nice gift for the kids, you are just rewarding them for manipulating you and they will be encouraged to do it more.

As for the kids, you can love them with your time and attention every day of the year. Nothing you can purchase them is going to fix the broke.

I have had to use this method to stop manipulative gift giving both in my family and with the inlaws. It works. They can't complain because it will be rude and ruin Christmas. It sends a very clear message you are not to be manipulated with gift-giving. And overall holidays have been much more pleasant for everyone since. We now focus more on eating well and enjoying each other's company (the best we can) rather than inflicting pain on each other. Good luck!

/r/relationship_advice Thread