We struggled a lot the first year. I would go to sleep and dream about divorce, how I’d decorate my new home etc. We’ve been together for 10 years and havent had massive problems prior baby.

If I had to guess, it wasn’t that I didnt feel like he was a good dad (he is, the best) or a supportive partner, but a lot not baby-related things happened. Financial stress, having to rehome our dog, having a baby with reflux and none of us sleeping well. I probably didnt have PPD, but just burned out. My husband worked two jobs at one point, leaving me in charge of the baby/home sometimes for 10 days a row (he wasn’t home).

If we had an easy, well-sleeping baby that guaranteed us sleeping more than 2 hours at a time, my husband working a regular job and no stress from moving, renovating and rehoming our dog, it probably wouldnt have been this tough.

So all the divorce thoughts were most likely a way for my brain to search for a way out. Our son is finally sleeping through the night and we’re kind of getting our life back with each other and recovering as partners.