This was actually pretty helpful and again it almost seems as if she is the one writing your responses.
A possible and probably very probably trigger for her “episode” is we were just pregnant and she had an eptopic pregnancy. It was horrible at first, as it would be for anyone. I tried to be extra empathetic and just being there for her as much as I could. Comforting her when we were in a triggering situation, buying her flowers, expressing how great of a mother she would be. We started growing closer and it was amazing.
She even told a couple of our friends how close she was feeling to me and how I had been there for her. She even apologized for last time she threatened divorce. Then all of the sudden something switched. She started partying, lying about where she was, having sexual outbursts, not talking to me, and not coming home. Maybe she as still internalizing the loss of our baby until she broke? I’m not sure.
When my wife gets triggered she withdrawals and doesn’t like to be bothered. We set up a system so when she needs alone time she tells me how long she needs and I’ll let her have that time without bothering her. It’s hard, but helpful. Popping in and providing her with warmth, cover, coffee, etc. seems like it would be helpful. If she comes back that’s something I’ll need to explore.
The defense center Of her brain is also VERY strong. Like on over drive to the point where things are projected. It’s something I’ve gotten used to and am able to handle better and better as time goes on.
So at the end of this last episode she told me she wanted a divorce and a couple days later told me to move my things out. I’ve been very cautious and trying not to say a lot. The other day I did express how I was confused and didn’t know why this was happening. She got frustrated and didn’t really give me an adequate answer and then stopped talking me altogether. I’m worried because she “struggles” with her sexuality and she moved in with a girl she met like three weeks ago so I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s something more to that.
If I think about it too much I start getting really sad