This was written based on my personal experiences and from giving advice to my friends’ situations. I honestly think that we should not have to deal with such types of people. Life’s short, we deserve to be with great people.
Signs they're not you true friend:
a. This is extremely stressful if you honestly care about that person. If your friend is addicted to drugs, sex, or hooking up with guys/girls and says that they want to change but show no signs of wanting to change, chances are they probably will keep doing whatever they want. In this case, it’s best to just stay away from them and let them realize themselves that what they have been was wrong and let them come back to you, if you desire to keep your friendship.
a. I had a friend that always talked me “down” constantly. If we were both interested in a guy and the guy did not end up liking her, she would always tell me that “he only likes you because you’re Asian.” We both also enjoyed cooking for our friends and when another mutual friend claimed that they liked my cooking better, she would tell me that “He only likes your cooking because it’s Asian and he likes Asian food. It’s not that you’re a better cook.” If they feel the need to put you down in order to feel better about themselves, you really should not be staying around that person.
a. This is a really dangerous “friend” to be around. If they constantly gossip to you about other people’s lives, chances are, they will probably gossip about you behind your back. Just stay away. In the case that something happens between you two, she or he will definitely throw a fit and make it known to the world. I had a friend that pretended to have mental disorder so that people would pity her and want to give her more attention. She would pretend to hyperventilate and have seizures. It turns out that she was faking it the whole time(she was taking fake medication)… Welp. Another thing to look out for is if they post angsty and self-pitying statuses on Facebook, just step away from them. They just love the attention that comes to them, and they don’t deserve it at all. Please don’t associate yourself with the likes of middle school drama queens.
a. I was interested in a guy and he asked me for my number at one point. I thought things were going well and he invited me and my friends to a party. I was really excited because I have had a crush on him for a while. Turns out, at the party, this “friend” gets so drunk and throws herself onto the guy that I liked to make out with him. She later claims that she doesn’t remember anything at all to just completely avoid the consequences. Just leave these kinds of people. They will do the same thing to you again, and they do this because they don’t see you as a true friend.
a. Chances are, they are probably judging you as much as they are judging other people on the inside, and they are probably extremely insecure about the way they look, and are probably still not mature.
a. If they are constantly asking who you are with, and get jealous of the people you are with, it is probably because they are extremely obsessed with your existence. Now, this might sound like a good thing that someone cares about you that much, but it is definitely not. Later on, they will definitely go out of their way to separate you from you and your other friends or make you choose between them.
a. If your friend expects you to come see them but not the other way around because it’s “too out of their way,” or expect you to pay for them, they probably do not care about you as much as you do for them. Just slowly drift away from them.
a. If you got a new job, or a new promotion, or a good grade on your exam and all they can talk about to you is about how miserable they are, they will honestly only bring you down in times of your success. Slowly drift away! If they are also only willing to talk about themselves and somehow find a way to direct ALL of your problems back to how miserable their life is, they probably do not have the luxury or mental latitude to keep up and give back towards your friendship. This will only hurt you in the long run.
If you sincerely care about this “friend” and wish to mend the way that things are now, you should definitely reach out and tell them that you have been feeling this way. However, if this is a recurring problem and you are not sure of whether they truly care about you, I would advise against keeping your friendship because it will be toxic in long-term.