I apologize for the wall of text.
I met my SO at the end of this past January. We made is official in mid-March. I am 30, he is freshly 29. I am driving myself absolutely insane thinking that our relationship should be further along than it is. A little background…
He dated his ex for 4 years, they were broken up for 3 when we met. I dated my ex for 11 years, we were in a weird limbo for a little over a year when I met my current SO. I live on my own, he lives with a roommate(who I get along with really well).
I fell in love fast and hard. I told him too soon, I know I did. I just got so excited when I started falling that I told him prematurely. He told me he wasn’t ready yet, which was fine. However, it’s been months now. We’re going to be coming up on 7 months soon. I do not want to rush him. However, I have internal struggles with that because my ex told me maybe 5 times in 11 years that he loved me. I feel unworthy of love, or that I am hard to love. This is not SO’s fault, and I don’t bring it up.
I recently mentioned something about apartments, my friend is moving in with her SO, so I was casually talking about it. I never once came out and said, LETS MOVE IN TOGETHER. But he said he felt like I was dropping hints, and that I was “planting seeds, and it wasn’t going to work”
He has admitted in the past that he is kind of a one day at a time person. But recently has started making more future plans, like driving 12 hours away with me to meet my parents for the first time and stay a week at their house at the end of December. He is absolutely wonderful. Kind, caring, perceptive, sensitive, funny, thoughtful. I’m head over heels.
I have met all of his friends, and his family. I have gone away for the weekend with his family. I am going on a vacation with him and his friends to Disney next week. I am very involved in his life. HOWEVER. I feel like we have yet to reach certain relationship milestones that I assumed would be standard by now. We rarely, if at all, discuss the future. There has been no mention of eventually living together, or anything like that.
Am I being totally insane by wanting things to move forward a little faster? Is this just a habit of being in a relationship for 10 years previously? Please help me.