It’s fine, I think I need all the help I can get!

Physically, I feel fine with my body. I don’t feel like I have the best body but I am comfortable with myself, I don’t pick at any of my trouble areas. I guess I don’t hate my body but I don’t love it either. I am perfectly comfortable with him seeing me naked in strong lighting, because he always makes me feel like a goddess and I am always so comfortable around him.

Attitude wise, sex and my SO himself both feel safe to me. I don’t feel pressured at all with him, and I also don’t feel that sex is painful etc. Sex is pleasurable with him, he genuinely takes care of my needs and would stop if I was uncomfortable with something. And I trust him with my life. In the past before therapy, I did dread sex and felt it was a bit chore-like because of the mentioned sexual assault with an ex. My ex made it routine for me to help him get off, and he didn’t take care of my needs at all. I absolutely hated it but I was still forced into it so I guess I was conditioned that way. That was also my first sexual experience ever so I think that affected me. That happened 4 years ago. I recently got therapy for that, my therapist practiced an imagery exercise with me and it did work, I was smiling non-stop after the session and my libido increased like crazy for that week. But now it’s sort of dipping back again into my old libido. I don’t think I feel sex is chore-like anymore, but I just have a problem craving sex. And I find that this is a major problem in my relationship because I know how sex is really important in any relationship, yet I find myself being able to abstain from sex and be fine with it.