I have not seen breaking bad. :) but I can understand what you mean by saying that it is difficult to change what we are. however, what I have learned over the years (I sound like I am super old but I am in my 30s! hahahahha) is that when we are comfortable and confident in who we are, we attract people naturally. it doesn't become some super strenuous effort. and we can have really good people in our lives but if we don't know how to communicate with them, then there will always be problems. at least for me, I found that as I sorted out my communication issues, my relationships actually got better.

and rather than change one self, I started to see it as a matter of tempering. if I have to use a cooking analogy, a meal cannot be just sweet, sour, bitter, spicy, astringent or pungent. it has to be all of those things -- then only it is a complete meal. so the spices need to be moderated, the quantities of dishes need to be properly portioned to give the meal a balance.

I tend to get very upset or emotional when people point out my flaws but when I switch on my logical, rational side, I can understand that what they are saying is completely different. it is about tempering the dish. if I had to to describe INTJ folks, I think of white radish/daikon. it is a great vegetable which we use in rain and cool seasons but not in summer. why not? because it adds heat to the body. so it is used in salad and stews during rain and cool seasons when adding heat to the body is good. (during summer, we use water vegetables more and other dishes that cool the body).

white radish on its own has a very strong, sharp, almost bitter taste but when used properly, it can be a great salad or good in stew. so that's the challenge for INTJs, we need to temper parts of ourselves that may ruin the dish. so reduce our assumption that we know it all and increase our listening skills, work on communication. then the dish gets balanced.