How do INTJs get over heartbreak?

Well, the last time I was in a really unpleasant relationship (some unacceptable stuff had happened and it wasn't going to be changing and it was just not a logical decision to remain in the relationship), I made a plan and ended things. After ending things, I blocked him on everything - phone, facebook, etc. without telling him.

I read a bunch of articles on how to move on. I downloaded a bunch of songs that resonated with me, made a playlist that I listened to on repeat. And actually, I still have trouble listening to those songs, mostly because I am kind of embarrassed about how I felt back then whenever I hear them again. I also can't really connect with them anymore.

I ranted and talked it out with the people close to me, reiterating why I had made my decision (to remind myself why I had ended things).

I went by the rule... Oh, I can't remember what it was anymore. Some kind of time limit for how long it takes to move on, based on the duration of the relationship. The importance of that was not in its accuracy, but as a way to continue to be motivated. My "goal" became having no contact with him whatsoever until at least after that time period.

The truth is, real love - not limerance or infatuation - involves trust and actively spending time with someone and putting something into a relationship. There's some truth to the "time heals all wounds" saying. So if there is no mutual bond - no mutual trust - and you actively remove them from your life and find other people, hobbies and things you care about to take more of central place in your day-to-day world and thoughts, you will move on. We only have so much time in the day and a limit on our capacity to care. Take them out, and put something else in. It doesn't have to be a person.

/r/intj Thread