How do I make/like new friends when I’ve struggled with it since I was little?

Well, I don't think I "blame" my kids, I'm just saying that other things come along in life that take a higher priority. I don't feel beholden by my kids, spending time w them and being there for them is simply the responsible thing to do over finding more people to party with or whatever. Parents are still social, just the nature of it changes.

I hear you though, dont get me wrong. I definitely think working less would be great. That's something we as Americans need to rethink. And building lasting, reciprocal relationships is ideal. But even so I think the older a person gets the less close friends they tend to have, again, priorities change and so do people.

I know people who got divorced because they wanted more time to continue doing things they did 20 years ago, spending literally half the time w their kids they used to and leaving their partners so they could have a better social life. Personally I think that's really immature. That stuff is temporary, kids will leave the nest at a given time and if you miss your chance to get to know them (or them to know you), it's gone.

I wake up at 2 AM to be at work by 3, I'm off at noon. Then i have 1.5 hours to myself, and I have the pick up my kids from school. My wife works 2 jobs (her choice), so I basically never see her and neither do the kids. Which means my whole day, everyday, is to be a working stay at home dad. I do the dishes, laundry, cleaning, cooking, fixing, everything. My day ends when the kids go to sleep. And then I do it all again the following day, ad infinitum. But somehow I still manage to maintain friendships and still squeeze in time to do the things I enjoy. It just takes extra effort, it's always possible. As the saying goes, if you love something you will make time for it.

/r/askpsychology Thread Parent