I can’t answer from the point of “looking back” yet but I will say that I felt the exact same as you when we were a few weeks out from DDay (which has now been almost 7 months.) The initial disclosure and the subsequent wave of communication, renewed commitment, and starting all the counseling things made me feel almost obstinate in my determination that we WOULD overcome it sooner than everyone said. But our recovery is following the same general timeline everyone has been saying, which at first really frustrated me but once I started to accept that we were not the exception to the rule, it gets easier. At this point, I am very hopeful for our future and proud of the work we have both put in. Some days feel very normal, and some days I wake up and feel like the breath got knocked out of me all over again. The initial anger phase for me didn’t kick in until around one month later but it also came with alternate feelings of a honeymoon like sex drive and bonding. So now both of those up and down, overwhelming feelings have subsided for the most part. We still are continuing with good communication and sex, but it’s still on my mind daily and I feel like I vacillate between the depression and acceptance as far as the grief, which my therapist says is normal. So that’s been my experience so far and now that I’m a few months in I feel like I definitely understand why full reconciliation takes so long. There’s so many layers of anger, understanding, grief, communication, intimacy, broken trust and rebuilding trust that come to the surface over time, both when you feel like you’re doing ok and when you feel like you can’t make it anymore. But I will say that I knew early on that I wanted to try to make it work and even in my darkest moments I’ve never come to a different decision. My therapist told me early on “give yourself the gift of time to heal.” That frustrated me then but I appreciate it now. I hope this helps at least a little bit, it’s the hardest thing ever to go through but sending strength for the journey ahead.