Thanks for your detailed reply. Helps a lot.
Oh I wasn’t saying those saying ‘he, she or whatever’ were making the genuine mistake that was definitely shade. As I’m not manager now if that was ever said while I was there I’d deal with it more socially than I would as a boss. I would usually say ‘it’s she’ and proceed to tell them not to be a dick. The genuine mistake I meant was I, once or twice, had said ‘Dave can you pass me something out of that drawer?’ Using her old name then would be like ah shit sorry and they understood but I’ll probably remember that moment every time I try to sleep now. That was more familiarity with the person they were and less familiar with the person they are now.
Giving feedback was probably the wrong phrase to be honest. It was a late night drunken conversation in the bar which was well received from them as I was genuinely just trying to improve my knowledge/understanding. It’s a hot topic these days and so much info flies about and I had never met a trans person who I knew well before they were trans. I would obviously be less inquisitive if that wasn’t the case. Just for examples it was mostly questions like so had they always known, has it made them happier (they’d expressed depression previously), then more technical questions like how the NHS deal with it and so forth. I can imagine it being a bit of a mental mine field for trans people to navigate as I’m just scratching the surface from an interested party perspective and there’s so much information especially when so many people seem to have an opinion on it
One last question from that, in both situations of co worker and manager, is it better to stand up and shut down possible insults or better to wait until that individual makes their discomfort known by saying or body language? I usually correct people now in conversations where people talk about trans issues like saying come on it’s not hard to just say she or he or whatever pronoun they’ve asked for or their name but if they are present I don’t want to be an unwanted saviour who actually shines a bigger spotlight on them but also don’t want someone to sit there uncomfortable