How many if you guys are in your early 20s and never had a gf?

Throwaway because I don't want stuff linked to my regular account. You asked some very specific questions and I’ve had a slow morning so prepare for a wall of text:

24 years old here, soon to be 25. I’d say I’m pretty attractive, but I’ve always had a little bit of a beer belly which I’m in the process of finally getting rid of. I was pretty outspoken and social growing up, but I've noticed I’ve become more reserved as I've gotten older.

 

I’ve had two gfs in my 20s. The first I can’t remember exactly how we met, but it was a pretty slow process in the sense that we were friends for the first 3 months. Things got romantic for us after we watched a movie one night and I made a move. I’ve always been more of a relationship kinda guy so with the school year starting up I figured I’d try to make it official. I kept it pretty casual and said something to the effect of “so we’ve been seeing each other now for X, should we just make it official, like bf and gf?” and she said yes. Looking back on it, I think that was a big mistake. She had a mess of problems that I wasn’t totally aware of at the time and she was from a completely different social circle. I didn’t think the social circle thing would be such a problem, but she didn’t click well with a lot of the people in mine so I ended up losing quite a few of my older friends which sucked. Regardless, I don’t think I would be with my current gf had I not branched out and met her other friend groups. We dated for about 8 months, which in retrospect was 5 months too long.

 

My second gf: after alienating myself from my older friends and dumping my ex, I became close with a group of friends my ex had introduced me to. These were great people - very creative, very genuine, and always a pleasure to be around. They hosted a lot of parties so it was through them that I met my current girlfriend. Our friends introduced us, but it didn’t feel like anything special. She was/is very attractive but had a kind of stand offish vibe that didn’t appeal to me and I probably felt threatened by. A few weeks go by, and we see each other on a few occasions at pre drinks and bars but our interactions are nothing more than friendly drunk conversations.

 

Then one night I go to a club with some other friends. I was hoping to go home with another girl that night but she rejected me. It’s 5 minutes till last call and I’ve just gotten rejected so obviously I’m pissed off and contemplate leaving. It's funny, I always think about how different my life would have been had I just left the club in those last 5 minutes.

I decide to stay and grab one last drink at the bar. I’m on my way and guess who I see walking straight towards me? Cue current gf. I was pretty wasted at this point so I don’t remember the conversation all that well, but I remember her asking what I’m doing for the after party and I say something along the lines of “let’s just cut to the chase” (fuck yeah liquid courage). She gives me a long stare with fuck me eyes and says let’s go home together. We do the deed that night and it becomes a regular thing for the next while where I feel like a booty call, but sex is sex so I'm not going to complain. School ends and I end up sort of living with her at her apartment for a while since I’m now technically homeless with my lease ending and I’m on the other side of the country from my family.

 

We didn’t become official until she was going on a weekend trip with some friends and I asked whether we were exclusive. We had never really talked about it before, but she was like “omg obviously yes! I thought we had been for a while!”. I thought this too, but she was cool/hot and I didn’t want to freak her out by coming across as too needy. We lived together for the rest of the summer and part of the fall. I had to move back home to start working, so we did long distance for about 10 months. She’s moved out here now and we live together. All in all, we’ve been happily together for just over 2 years now.

TLDR: had a toxic relationship with my ex, but wouldn’t have met my current gf without it.

/r/intj Thread