Maybe I missed this- do you masturbate? I wonder if that might help you with the frustration of not feeling you have control over your own sexuality and pleasure?

Anyway, my opinion is that a guy does not need porn if he is getting what he wants from his mate. So the question is 1) does he know what he wants? 2) Can he tell/ask you what he wants? 3) is he committed to working things out with you?

You have a lot of complex sexual and intimacy history, so the answers to those questions may not be easy or immediate.

The real issue is that he is being evasive and uncooperative. We are not hearing his side of the situation, but if you are portraying the situation even close to accurately it sounds to me like you are doing more than your share of the work of putting things back together.

When he says he is not addicted to porn and just likes it, that is being evasive, if not dishonest.

I don't know how you should proceed, but my feeling is he should not be looking at porn or masturbating at all during this time when the two of you are attempting to recover from years of intimacy issues. He has to want to stop the porn and the evasiveness, he has to want to fix these issues with you. You both should be seeing a therapist together and separately, and it does not need to be a sex therapist (specialist).