How much should I [22/f] reasonably be able to read before it starts bothering people?

I can relate. When I lived alone my routine consisted of getting home from work (~6pm), showering, and then bundling up and reading until I needed to go to sleep (sometimes later). I burned through about 70 books in ~2 months during that period. Weekends? BOOOOOOKS.

Now that I'm in a long-term relationship with someone who doesn't read (at all) it's definitely a pain in the ass. We've found compromise in that I read while he watches TV (I watch like, one show. Books are more enjoyable for me), if he has errands I don't need to join him on, or if there's some activity he can do with his friends. Otherwise it's when neither of us are really doing anything, or if I sneak a book while he sleeps. I managed to establish time for him & his interests, time for me & mine, and shared quality time (usually planned outings). It's an element of mutual respect - respecting each other's time and interests, while also connecting with one another.

People don't get as worked up over TV as they do with video games/books because it's social. Someone can drop in and watch a show with you. It's not a solitary activity. A non-reader doesn't understand that a book can be better than TV/movies, and that it's stimulating and engaging rather than something you tune out to.

My SO knows it keeps me sane/happy/entertained, and he knows how much I enjoy it - as I went through great efforts to try to explain it - and he (usually) appreciates when I regularly make time to focus on him. That's not to say I don't occasionally get nagged at over it, I do, but for the most part I try to keep it balanced. It also helps when I let him know, "Saturday: I want to read all day. We can grab lunch/dinner, but I have a book I want to finish" so he can make his plans around that. It helps prevent him from assuming/expecting one thing and getting another (and thus, upset), if that makes sense.

/r/relationships Thread