Congrats! The budget really all depends on what's most important to you two and also where you live.

My wedding all told came to about $30k. We lived in Philadelphia at the time but had our ceremony and reception at a country club in Bucks County PA at about $120/head. This included food, flowers for the tables, and cake, plus a few extras we wanted like a candy buffet and a fancy coffee bar. So the event itself was about $11k and my parents covered most of that expense. We invited about 135 people, had 120 yeses and everyone who said yes actually came. Plus we fed all of our day-of vendors, which is pretty standard.

We splurged on a photographer (8500) and a live band (about 6k). My dress plus alterations was about $1100. Flowers for the bridal party were about $400. I don't remember how much his tux cost but he went with Men's Warehouse, pretty standard. My friend did my hair as a gift and I paid for myself and the moms to get our makeup done. We also paid for a shuttle for ourselves and guests (no limo service). And we paid for the rehearsal dinner, which came to about $1,000 for about 14 adults and 2 kids. We spent two nights at a hotel near the venue but we used hotel points.

Invitations, postage, wedding shoes and accessories, are smallish expenses that may need to be factored in. So yes, 30k might seem like a lot but when you factor in everything that comes with a conventional wedding that's about right for 100ish people, at least in the Northeast.

Whether you want a conventional wedding with all the trimmings is entirely up to you! For us, we had everything we wanted and nothing we didn't. And most importantly, the event didn't put us into debt.