How do my husband and I (35M 30F) let my little sister (26F) know we won’t be bankrolling her social life anymore

I think perhaps the reason you haven't put your foot down is because you believe you're doing something nice for her, and showing her you love her by giving her all these things.

You are not.

People who are babied their entire lives become extremely dependent on others. They don't know how to take care of themselves for the exact reason that you've continued to buy things for your sister, let her use your car, no one cared that she lived at home for 2 years etc. Because they have been enabled to do so. How do you think other people would react if she was mooching off them? Why do you think she's gone so long without a job and her own apartment?? Not worrying about finding a new car after totalling her own? Because you and the rest of your family have allowed her to become so dependant on others she doesn't even know HOW to take care of herself. Honestly the BEST thing in the world that you could do for her, if you truly love her, is to STOP enabling her as of this very minute. It's going to be tough at first she might be mad at you and even stop talking to you for a while, but if she actually figures out how to take care of herself, she will thank you forever.

/r/relationships Thread