Dude, get some hobbies that women are also interested in.

Don’t think of every woman you meet as sexual conquests. Friends is what you want. You don’t need to fuck every woman who is nice to you, dudes that think like that need to purge that shit from their brains.

Learn to dance (it’s always my suggestion) because it forces you to drop your guard and just have fun, and there are always plenty of women that go with their friends, there’s never enough dudes for the women to partner with.

It also forces you to talk, just tell them you’re shy and focus on learning. Don’t be creepy. Depending upon the dance it also forces you both to break the touch barrier, which is huge.

There won’t be any expectations on you because you’re not trying to force a date or anything stupid like that. You’re all there to do the same thing - learn.

Make friends with people there, it’ll take time. You’ll meet dudes too, some likely about to get married, some who have been dragged along, some creepy fuckers as well, it’s all par for the course. You’ll probably come out with a few more mates to go have a beer with too if that’s your jam.

Then once you’re friends perhaps their other friends might take interest in you (girls always talk up their guy friends who they think are cool and decent).

I met one of my best friends at a dance class about 15 years ago, she’s probably one of the coolest most trustworthy people I know (and is about to become my daughter’s god mother). She had a lot of friends already in that class, many of which I also became friends with as well.

Here’s the thing, of all those women, guess how many I tried to get into bed - zero. Some are stunning, some I was even attracted to. Some even showed interest. But you don’t need to act on it, and here’s another point - don’t lead your friends on, that’ll bring you back to lonely faster than you can blink.

Having a close group of female friends to just hang out with is great, every man needs a wing woman or five, it goes a long way towards other women trusting you and hanging out if you’ve got others in your corner singing your praises.

I’ve digressed. She’s also very close to my wife. Going to that dance class was one of the best things I’ve ever done.

Also, one last point. All that bullshit about negging and manipulating is exactly that - it’s not new, it used to be rammed down our throats even 25 years ago by so called alphas, but it’s not at all necessary, and if you do it and it somehow works, all you’ll do is attract crazy.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.