I'm really sorry you're having a tough time - even your job of working in a Covid ICU daily must be really emotionally draining, just by itself. I can't imagine having a young child on top of that.

I'm not sure if this will be helpful advice, but some things you mentioned, like having a brain that's constantly going, are things I also struggled with. It quickly disappeared for me once I was able to talk to someone regularly about how I was feeling. Is talking to a therapist once a week something you could consider, instead of the one-night-a-week all-nighter?

I don't work in an ICU and can't imagine how that would be, but I'm a journalist so I also work all day covering natural disasters and other stressful things. It can get to me sometimes without me even consciously realizing that's the problem, and then I end up fixating on stuff like chores or decor because those are things I can actually control (and I can't control natural disasters).

I'm definitely not saying that's the issue for you, just trying to share how therapy was so helpful for me, even when I wasn't sure what was wrong. I hope you find a solution that works for you.