Freshman year of college, hooked up with a girl for the first time, thought things were going well. Few weeks later, just about walk in on her fucking my roommate and good friend from HS. Things somehow still kind of progress after that (I was naive and desperate). Turns out she was manipulating me and my roommate the entire time to get her old BF back who was another friend from HS (I had gotten his permission when she started flirting with me, we’re actually really tight, now neither of us are entangled with her).
Then 3 years later, what I thought was a relationship with a woman and a family with her two children for the better part of 2 years turned out to be false. Well everything was real to her, except she was still in love with her ex and had been fucking him the entire time. What’s more she would bring him over and they’d all be a family together too, she’s just tell her kids not to mention it to me.
Completely destroyed my ability to trust women. It’s fucked up a few burgeoning relationships that could have been something because now I seem like. possessive asshole, well not possessive. I don’t say anything, I don’t control anything, but the fact that I don’t believe them and assume the worst is clear no matter how I try to hide it and it causes problems. I try and I try to see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt and try to shape my behavior to fit that, but in my mind the second a woman has a male friend, then they’re fucking them, the second that they don’t show interest the same way, hat means they found someone new and more interesting.
It destroyed my self confidence on top of everything else. And 2 years has only brought back a facade. I feel like whatever value I have with women can’t be real, and when I do date even when she appears to like me and things are going well, I self sabotage, and realize what I’ve done only after things have ended.