Please don't hate on me for the things I'm about to say. Just my personal perspective. I hope it helps, but what I'm about to say won't be easy to accomplish. I'm 60 and have been married twice, engaged twice more, and dated a dozen other women in between, so I have a little experience in this area. So many guys I meet seem so terribly oblivious about what they look like and how they act compared to other date-able guys of their world. It's like they aren't very observant at all. I was a bit of a geek in high school and didn't have many girls interested in me. When I went off to college I happened to room next to two guys who were ALWAYS busy with the women, so I observed them like a hawk. They weren't rich or super handsome, just kind of regular guys, BUT they were fun and funny, made the best of what they had, and were NOT scared of women. I took this all in, and started paying more attention to how I interacted with women...being more careful what I'd say like Obama always does when being interviewed. I had a history of blurting out dumb shit at the worst moments, but I became more self-observant about all that stuff. I also hit the gym regularly, and started paying far more attention to how I dressed, smelled, came across to women. Personal hygiene guys...learn it, live it, love it! Women in general are FAR more tuned in to all of those kinds of things than men are. Men look at women and note their physical assets most often. Women judge men on a far broader spectrum of data points (thank goodness). That's how an average looking guy who is confident, pulled together, successful, and funny can often date a woman who is somewhat better looking than he is. Almost all of the women I've been involved with were a click more attractive as women than I am as a man. Because they are judging me across that broader set of data points. To digress, I knew a guy years ago who had been totally alone into his 30's. He made up his mind that he was going to do whatever it took to get a partner. He got seriously buff at the gym, got contact lenses, consulted a personal stylist when buying his clothes, and got a real haircut by a talented barber. So to look at him, he had gone from being a 3 (on the 10 scale) to about a 6.5. The only thing left was that he was....um....a super geeky nerdy dude...the "Hey, do you want to see my stamp collection?" kind of guy. He never understood that he needed a serious personality shift to match the new exterior he had given himself through great expense and effort. Sad to say, he tried and tried to find a woman, but he wasn't aiming at a kind of similarly geeky/nerdy woman as he should have been, but he was aiming at the super attractive "popular" women who were into jock athletes and such, and it just never worked out. He ended up giving up and in 6 months he looked exactly as he always had. If you could break personality/looks/presentation down into REALISTIC numbers (from 1 to 10) when comparing yourself to other men out in the dating world, and add all of those numbers up, that is your desirability score. Everybody has one, but many guys think they are an 8 when in reality they are just a 4. This will do him no good because he will be aiming his attention and expectations at women who are 8's. No go. Once you get a REALISTIC notion of your number, lets say a 6, then go out looking for women who are a 5.5 to a 6.5. That is your zone of acceptability. If you want a woman with a higher social score like an 8 or 9, then you have to do some things to seriously up your own personal score. Better job, more money, more obviously fit and healthy, attention to details...shoes matching belt, color combinations in clothes, personal cologne choices, and also making a real effort to BE INTERESTING AND FUN! Have interests that are broader and more common and less incredibly narrow...not "I've been collecting this species of beetles since I was 9", but I've been all over Europe and half of Asia, or I'm really into sports and I never miss a Cubs or Badgers game. Broader and less narrow! Things that many women may also have an interest in. THIS TAKES ONGOING EFFORT...ENDLESS ONGOING EFFORT!! Have you ever seen all the work that many women put into being fit, looking beautiful, having a nice house or apartment, etc? They sweat the details on this stuff every darned day. If you want a female partner, you're going to have to put out some effort my friends. Have a little ambition...at least 3 on the 1-5 scale. Less than 3 most women won't be impressed by at all. Go to the gym and stay fit, not just because women will find you more attractive, (fit is sexy, out-of-shape is NOT) but because it's good for you in every other area of your life...job-wise, mental health wise, everything. I will end by writing something personal in this regard. I am lucky enough to have what I call the "pretty penny syndrome". As in "I shine up nicely." When I don't give a damn about myself and start getting lazy and unfocused about everything...when I lose the plot and just let it all slide...at work, at the gym, with my friends...just everywhere, I get heavy and depressed and EVERYTHING goes in a negative downward spiral. BUT, if I can grab a hold of myself and start giving a damn about how I look and come across, about how I am perceived at work, about how tidy my place is, about paying attention to what's going on in the world outside of my tiny little zone, EVERYTHING GETS WAAAAAAY BETTER!!!! Women become easy to find...they chase me rather than the other way around! And it turns into a virtuous upward spiral of strength on strength....BUT IT TAKES CONSTANT EFFORT MY FRIENDS....CONSTANT ONGOING EFFORT AND KEEPING YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE. If you can't or won't make the effort that women seem to need in order to be interested in you.........get a dog. They will love you unconditionally and never break your heart. Seriously. Good luck guys!