How do people with abandonment issues feel after THEY abandon someone?

I have severe abandonment PTSD and I feel I can accurately answer your question.

First I want to say, that abandonment is treatable, and the main problem is your BF has coping skills he learned as a child/youth that is ultimately ineffective. He needs professional help if he wants lasting relief to learn new coping mechanisms.

You didn't give me much to go on, but I do appreciate that you're the one reaching out for information on this. I can assure you he loves and cares about you but him leaving is not unusual. Try to examine the moments leading up to him making that decision. Whatever it was, he most likely felt a severe threat and anxiety, and this is the only thing he can control.

Dating someone with abandonment can be exciting since we are incredibly intense and shower you with a form of love. But we do this because of an intense insecurity.

I would assume you two dated for a handful of months and he is doing what he knows best. Leave you before you leave him. If things were going great before him leaving, he may have felt that his 'steam' was running short and he panicked, and/or probably carries a level of guilt that he perceives as too scary to reveal.

Lastly, before jumping to the conclusion that he is manipulative in a negative sense, give him slack by adopting the narrative that he most likely did not learn the skills that most people have when dealing with trauma.

/r/abandonment Thread