A few months ago I attended the birthday party of my Uncle in law. Husband couldn't make it so he stayed home to look after kids so I went with my MIL and FIL. It was a 70s costume surprise party at a convention centre in town. I knew everyone there in cluding the older relatives and my husbands cousins that were closer to my age.

It was so awkward. Not one person in my husband's generation there spoke to me or let me join their conversations. An older relative came to talk to me because I was all alone for most of the evening before dinner. I talked to her and then she left and I was alone again. Dinner was being brought out and people had to find seats at the tables to eat, free for all seating.

I was the last person standing in the entire room of about 100+ people and an older realtive in law saw me looking for a spot to sit. She came to me and lead me over to the last seat at a table, it had cousin in laws all chatting and having a great time amongst themselves ignoring me. The older relative had to raise her voice slightly to be heard and asked them if I could sit here with them. Someone there dismissively said "sure" and I sat down.

I will never see my extended in-laws the same way again especially in family gatherings. I have heard from my husband that his family beyond his parents see him as the black sheep. I am not surprised if they think that of me now because we are married, have been for 17 years.