I realized that the binary of af/bb is way too much of a generalization. Of course there are a decent portion of men who would meet the definition on both sides of the spectrum, but theres a huge portion of men in the middle that is essentially a sliding scale. I really had just considered myself as an average guy who was an outlier, or didnt count my own experiences because most of the women I've been with were not as attractive as I wouldve liked. In my mind I was basically equivalent to an incel.

I'm still working over the idea in my head that dating/sex isnt all sunshine and Roses for women. I do believe that all in all women do have a massive advantage over men, but there are a decent amount of negatives that come with it.

I've really had a long think about how tinder and online dating is massively skewing my perception of dating. If it wasnt for online dating I would still be a virgin, I have horrible approach anxiety and I tend to sabotage myself in pursuits with women because I feel like I'm going to fail regardless. The reason I feel this way is because all the times I've tried my hardest and still was unsucessful, it made me feel absolutely horrible about myself, so I'd rather not try as hard so I at least had something else to blame. I want to try pursuing women in real life, because I know it's my best shot, but still the idea always terrifies me because I've tried before and have been rudely rejected.

This sub is a wild ride between feeling absolutely fuckng depressed at the state of dating, and sometimes seeing a small glimmer of hope.