How do I respond when nmom claims "you must do X because you're a man"?

Oh dear, that's a lot of money. Only you can decide if that is enough for you to stay and receive all this abuse or not.

I am currently donating to my brother more than 200.000€ in a business and an apartment so that I can leave and be in peace.

They will ride you lame if they can. They have done so to me for the last 14 years (2008-end of 2021- I am 47m).

I am not a lame horse yet, but definitely needing full rebuilding both professionally and emotionally.

Thankfully my therapist and my past experiences help alot.

I feel your pain, it is nasty. In my case they pushed on me their need for money, luxury and control. I accepted their fetishes as mine for a long time, and as I tried to reassert myself on my decisions they became as horrible as you can imagine. My nparent attempted to beat me and my nsibling attempted and is still attempting to subjugate me.

Things with narcissists can always get worse. You cannot imagine how bad they will get because you are not a nasty person. They are.

About your refereeing.... I mean that you keep dealing with the 2 of them and how they mess you up. You aim yourself in defense, and potential offence. You need to realize that you will never be as nasty as they are and be proud of that.

You are emensly better. (Not that it is an achievement... it is easy to be better than them...)

You need to focus on who you are, not what you will do as they abuse you.

You are better, nicer, and you are worthy of living caring tender people around you.

End you preoccupation with that mess, get started with your gorgeous self!

I am currently morbidly obese with dermatological issues, and I consider me emensly more beautiful than those monsters. Not on the outside so much, but in all other aspects. On the outside too, if you see my smile and eyes looking out to the world, you cannot compare it to the calculating stare of a narc. Any narc.

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread Parent