How’s your mental state now?

Since nobody I know has my account name I'll be quite honest here. My mental state is horrible, everyday I want to hurt myself. I have horrible anxiety and paranoia, I can't tell who likes me and who hates me so I mostly choose the latter. If I were to tell anyone I would lose a lot, just for starters I would lose my gun and hunting liscenses. I'm not sure if I can cope with the feeling of wanting to kill myself much longer, one thing is for sure is that since I'm still in school I WILL kill myself if I fail any mandatory classes. If I pass through school and get my mechanic liscense I might just leave my old life behind, I've thought about it a lot. Starting a new life seems like the only choice I have other than suicide. Sorry about formatting or spelling, I'm on mobile.

/r/AskReddit Thread