My big concern with this is that smoking seems to be lowering your inhibitions and willpower. Why would a low cal option matter since stoned justcruizin probably doesn't wanna eat the low cal version or you would have been doing it already, right?

This isn't me judging you for smoking (I do too), but you might consider not partaking for a while as you get used to the diet.

However, if you feel you just can't do that, look into stuff like fruits, nuts, popcorn. Make healthier french fries at home. Try low cal ice creams like Halo Top. There truly will never be a complete substitute to the stuff you mentioned above, but you can make at home versions of stuff to try and curb your cravings.