Extended cut super mother-fucking holy shit bonus edition:
The College Freshman meme is the exemplar of the exact OPPOSITE of what you should say and do. The most annoying person I have ever encountered in college were the people who thought it was so awesome to drink. No one cares. Oh, you got drunk one time? Please bore me with how you did something fucking stupid and then you did something fucking stupid and then you woke up with a hangover and an F. People drink, that's college, but don't go around like no one else knows.
Professors are some of the smartest people on the planet, and they will think you are the DUMBEST person on the planet if you try to fool them with lame excuses on why your homework isn't done, or why you weren't in class, or how you didn't plagiarize. You're in for a real fucking treat when grading time rolls around. If you fucked up, get to them ASAFP and tell them honestly that you were too busy beating it instead of how your internet crashed or some shit like that. 9/10 times they will give you an extension...
Ask for extensions. If you legitimately think you will need more time to work on an assignment or feel that you won't be able to give them an A job on an assignment, 9/10 times they will extend the deadline of your homework, or reschedule an exam for you. Professors may seem like dicks sometimes but many of them want to help you and see you ace the class. In college, it's as easy to get an A as it is to get an F, and the difference between the two can be...
Having a good relationship with your professors. All of them. Yes, even the dicks. Going into their office hours, going over assignments and exams with them, and genuinely being a nice person will make a world of a difference. I've had professors give me a better grade simply by talking with them, and I've had professors give me worse grades when I simply never showed my face around them or gave a shit in class. Your attitude, and how you communicate with them, affects your performance.
Take electives. You will never know what you will learn. I took a class that made me change my major.
Accept that you may change your major, that's why I said that you need to come up with back-up plans, and keep your options open. Also, changing your major is not the end of the world...until after your sophomore year, then good luck graduating "on-time."
Not that graduating on-time is a big deal. But it's generally best to do so. You want to get out on the job market as fast as possible. Don't take the short-cuts and the easy route just to graduate faster. Learn everything you can in College, because while learning never stops, the opportunity to learn about everything is only within those years at uni.
There are going to be classes that are so easy that you could be teaching them, and there are going to be classes that are so mind-numbingly hard you won't know how to cope. Generally, you should focus on the hard classes FIRST, and during one of your breaks or your give-up-a-thons, you can focus on the easy shit. Don't lose track of the easy shit by putting all of your resources in the hard class. A's in your easy classes and an C in your hard one is a lot better than all C's and an F.
Extended generals aka common sense bullshit freshman never seem to get; your professor is called PROFESSOR, don't wear a lanyard (having one isn't horrible, but don't fucking wear or display it), don't talk about sex, don't talk about drinking, don't talk about doing pot, don't talk about how your professors swear, just because you can swear doesn't mean you should, don't argue with the professor, don't ask long and boring questions in class, don't ask questions that only pertain to you in class, again they have office hours for a reason, stay away from the party frats, don't pretend you're all hood now that you're in college, don't be a slut if you're a girl, accept college is NOT high school, it is the most rigorous, challenging, most fun time of your life. You are independent and can do what you please, but that also means no one is there to save you when you fuck yourself.
I said to have study partners, but don't have that study team bullshit where one person goes this day and the other will go this day. That shit doesn't work.
Technology is your best friend and worst enemy. You should probably have some sort of computer and a printer, but for the most part you should leave that shit at your dorm/home. Bring notebooks and maybe folders, hell, buy a messenger bag to carry all that shit. If you're an English major like me, you're going to carry tomes around. Buy a gazillion #2 PENCILS, not that fucking mechanical shit that makes me wrangle necks, and pens, and highlighters. You are never too prepared in college.
Will add more if needs be.