How do stop being mad at my self for being so stupid?

Hey I’m in the same boat. My relationship only lasted four months but she cheated on me with several guys in that span and only admitted until after I caught her. She then blamed it on me saying I wasn’t available enough, which was true to an extent. I still feel like she could of talked to me about it and that I can’t see her the same way. I blocked her after breaking up with her but foolishly unblocked and messaged her to check in several times but she still has me blocked on everything. She also made up lies about rape/physical abuse and in hindsight she was awful. I still find myself missing her a lot and just want her to be okay despite all of it because I know she has severe mental issues. I feel like a damn fool. Sometimes I feel like it is my fault in a way or another, I know I’m not a perfect boyfriend and maybe I could of some things better, maybe it is my fault. She said she loved me and I hate to say it but I think I love her. I just don’t know how can you love someone and lie to them on a daily basis and cheat on them? Maybe we’re both terrible people. I feel like I should be held accountable to some degree but at the same time I feel like I dodged a bullet and made the right choice, I really don’t know anymore. Maybe if I was better with communicating and making her feel good that wouldn’t of happened? All I can say is that I resonate with you completely and hope things work out for you

/r/ExNoContact Thread