How to stop comparing yourself to others with autism?

This sounds really draining and disappointing/frustrating. :(

There's a good chance that there are many people who feel similarly to you but do not post, or perhaps they have and you haven't had a chance to read their material. For example, I recall seeing posts not too long ago about folks moving on pretty quickly from special interest to special interest. Another way of looking at it may be that perhaps there are autistic people who struggle with the very things you don't struggle with, just as you regard those who are 'successful' and feel like you've failed? The wheel keeps spinning... All this to say that there are so many elements of autism and so many facets of human traits and personalities that there will always be people who are better at things than us and people who we are better than. Comparison is the thief of joy because it literally does not permit peace of mind. It is easier said than done to say "the only yardstick you need to measure yourself against is your own (well-reasoned & healthy) rationale for who you want to be and how you want to operate in this world". Something I've found helpful lately is drawing analogies from interest areas. Ex. Let's say I'm interested in mammals. Well, I would imagine a wolf feeling like an incompetent fool for not being able to climb trees like a black bear and wishing they weren't a wolf, and think to myself "how sad for the wolf! they are perfectly fine as they are. in fact, it is better that wolves aren't bears and bears aren't wolves because we need both. etc." Now apply that to yourself. You deserve to be yourself and not feel ashamed for not being like someone else who might have a different disposition, wiring, background, capacity, etc. than you. And they deserve to feel good about themselves for being who they are without comparing themselves to the next person. The need for self-validation must come from within, which is a hell of a task when it doesn't come naturally but there it is.

/r/aspergirls Thread