This is all excellent advice that I probably won't follow lol :P

I only say that because as much as I care about Dude and would drop anything to at least physically meet him so I even knew if any of this is worth worrying over, I would not say I am denying myself any other options. I've been in two LTRs since first meeting him and, while those relationships were actually good, I didn't really think about Dude in an intense way. I just have SHIT taste in men, which is probably another reason I am so drawn to Dude is that he is not my "type" there is just compatibility.

I have started to exercise more! Not really into the gym scene because people and whatnot, but I did a legit pullup for the first time two days ago and it feels pretty amazing. I've also got a slew of mental health issues I've finally gotten into treatment for again, so overall I am making big improvements and feeling really good about them!

I'm less eager to join a club as I already have to interact with people for my job all day every day and the last thing I want to do after that is have to interact with more people, but I'm thinking that within the next 1.5 years I will be moving into a larger city and at that point hopefully I will feel more able to branch out and meet people recreationally. Or maybe after more treatment, who knows!

One thing I do know is that if I stop contact or don't, same with you, we can and will do this! We are cunning, pliable, chestnut-haired sunfishes who are stronger than our big dumb hearts and their inappropriate affections! :P