The idea of a woman getting raped because she was walking alone, in the dark, drunk, or wearing skimpy clothes is mostly bullshit.
Uh, yeah. It's bullshit BECAUSE rape is unjustifiable no matter what. You said it yourself; many women get raped even without any of those things in account. Meaning, the main focus here should not be on how to police women's behavior further, but to teach boys/men the concept of consent and respect clearly enough so as to eventually normalize it.
Honestly, I still pretty much agree with you—it's only beneficial to young girls to teach them how to defend themselves. I just find it odd that you still call it "victim-blaming." Like, what do you mean? "Sorry this happened to you, buddy, but if you just roundhouse kicked him a second time he wouldn't have escaped. So really, this one's your fault smh" ???
Or are you referring to how women will "let" a dangerous situation escalate by being polite? Because, yeah, it'd be good to teach girls how to recognize red flags AND that it's okay to bail when they sense them. But you have to realize that women are socialized to be polite and accommodating from birth.
To be indoctrinated since your toddler years to be nice and friendly all the way up to adulthood, growing up with the knowledge of the existence of violent men but STILL getting nagged on and on about how "not all men are like that"... of course, 8/10 you're gonna want to give someone the benefit of the doubt no matter how creepy they are. And if/when something does happen to you, and you confide in a person you think you could trust not to judge you... and all they do is chastise you about how stupid you are for trusting the guy, how you should have known better, and stop juuuust short of telling you, you deserved it...
Like... you see how condescending and callous that is, right? It's punishing women for merely acting the way they've been raised is the "right" or "typical" way to act all their lives. They are constantly told to be meek and to respect everyone (and ESPECIALLY the "gentlemen" who deign to offer gestures of basic human decency) but god help them if they speak up or else they're a femnazi bitch!
Bleh. Sorry for the ranting, tbh I'm not even mad at you. But this is a particular subject that grinds my gears because it is yet another common way to shame victims into silence. Not everyone gets to train in martial arts or has the luxury of a competent guardian to tell them it's OKAY to not be a fucking doormat all the time. And even those who do will, on occasion, fall back into old habits. Socialized behaviors are an extremely difficult thing to unlearn and requires years of practice and/or preemptive training from childhood. So it's just cruel to expect every woman to be on high alert every time they so much as go outside.
I get it, a good defense is as important as a good offense, but it's never okay to reprimand someone for BEING ASSAULTED just because they didn't know how to kick enough ass. It doesn't matter how much they do—the blame should always, ALWAYS be 100% on the perpetrator.