How to tell a guy with ED that I wanna work through it?

As a guy also working through ED with my partner, these are the things that have helped:

  • engaging in other acts of intimacy that dont involve me maintaining a boner. (Lots of cuddling, making out, massage/rubbing all over each other, dry humping even!!! She can grind on my leg while we kiss and enjoys how it feels)

  • being told that the things I do other than PIV are awesome, so i dont feel i need to rely on my erection to pleasure her. Knowing she still enjoys being physical with me in whatever way that may look like takes a big burden off.

  • going slow over time! Things escalate a little more every time we are together, we havent had PIV sex yet but have worked up to pretty much everything else. I wasnt able to get it up or maintain an erection the first two nights we spent together, and now I can -- and for a lot longer than I expected. Plus the sexual tension buildup is INSANE.

  • spending time just touching each other nude/almost nude without the expectation of sex. It made me feel really comfortable with my body again. HUGE victory.

  • words of affirmation. Let him know he is wanted and you care and that him being there with you is enough.

  • explore what he likes, and what you like to do to him. Find the overlap and abuse it lmao. Let him explore you as well, communicate whats good and what you want. My partner and I spent a lot of time just trying to figure out how to rile each other up and my god can she get me going in seconds now... I can play her like a fiddle too. Big confidence booster.

  • if he watches porn and/or masturbates a lot he needs to stop. Takes some strong will, but by far the biggest benefit to ED was quitting porn and abstaining from masturbation for a while (recently started again in moderation)

/r/sex Thread