How a three-year DayZ angelic hero turns bandit. How I finally cracked. How I lost my fucking mind.

Ha! I've done that too. I was shotgunned by a couple of guys in Berezino, so I respawned. Found a fire extinguisher.

Came across another two guys in Solnichny. Black guy, white guy. Told them about the experience. They said, "Well, we just talked to the shotgun guys, they told us you attacked them first." Which actually wasn't true, because I was in a friendly mood.

I said, "Well, now that I know you're with them..." I drew my saxophone. "Then I suppose you won't mind me feeding you this!" I chased one and beat him a few times with it, laughing like a maniac, and they both started running north, trying to lead me to the Super Shotgun Brothers.

I finally beat one down at the fire station, unconscious. I look over my shoulder and see the other guy run into the shed next to the gas station and close the door, hoping to hide from me, thinking I'm distracted. "Mmmm..." I say. I check his gear, find a machete. "Excellent. Yes, yes, this blade will do nicely. I do enjoy myself some dark meat, don't you? Dont you, sir, who kindly ran from me? Where are you? Don't you want to sample some of this DARK MEAT!?"

I then execute the unconscious guy in the street with the machete, then cut him up.

I then walk back to the shed. Walk, not jog. I walk around a couple of times, mumbling. "I wonder, I wonder, where whitey went... he can't have gone far, with all that energy spent." I walk up to the door. "Little pig, little pig, let me come in. You know what goes good with dark meat?"

I open the door. "A NICE THICK JUICY SLAB... OF WHITE MEAT!"

He goes fucking NUTS, screaming "OH FUCK, FUCK OFF, GO AWAY, FUCK, NO!"

He tried to run past me, but I'm not stupid. I'm blocking the door. He realizes he's trapped and tries to hit me, but it's too late. I land a good square smash to his face with the fire extinguisher and start cackling like a madman.

I then skin him and eat him and his friend raw. I retreat to the hills outside the factory and watch the road. Sure as shit, Super Shotgun Brothers show up, and they start hunting for me while I slowly digest their friends. They didn't find me.

/r/dayz Thread Parent