Trying to cope with the fact that I didn't talk to my best friend for a month to cool down, and when I came back she said we couldn't talk anymore. We dated for a year and a half but it didn't work out due to a mixture of things out of our control and things that were my fault, but she insisted I was family and we could still be friends. That changed when her new boyfriend said he was cheated on twice by his ex. It's been almost three weeks and it used to be bad. My hands shook constantly and I slept a total of 3 hours nightly. It was so bad at one point I felt like hurting myself, and I asked her if she could talk one last time. I didn't give her an ultimatum and she said before she would be there for me, so I thought it was ok and that I wasn't being manipulative. She told me to talk to my family or friends when she knew I didn't have anyone else.

I don't cry much anymore but it still hurts. We never even really saw each other in person since when I told her I needed to cool off, so I don't feel any closure coming soon. On top of that a friend of mine attempted suicide recently. On a brighter note I got accepted to the college I applied to and I'll be living out of my home for the first time in 21 years, so I have something to look forward to. Just taking it one day at a time because that's all I can do.