I had such a narcissistic mother that I kind of thought it was normal to be dominated, have my boundaries exploited and just generally be treated with no respect. On a very deep subconscious level I thought my role was to please others. Having a father who enabled her behaviour only enforced the idea that it was all okay and no biggie. Standing up for myself throughout my childhood was an act that was either mocked or met with outright, frightening aggression and sometimes violence. So I just never learned how to stand up for myself and as a young woman I was easy prey. I accepted so much aggressive, selfish or just plain bullshit behaviour from friends and men alike until I started working on putting myself first. Now that my self esteem and my ability to assert myself is so much better, it's actually really disturbing to me when I look back at how much I just naturally let myself be dominated by others. Whether it was friends who used me, or men who pushed my boundaries, it was like I had no sense of self. Like my instinct was just to serve others. It was the only thing I'd been trained to do. I'm glad I've broken out of that but it's something I still have to watch out for.