How do I know when gaslighting is also my own problem?

I get the same thing, all the time. I'm regularly called delusional, illogical, overemotional, hypersensitive, stupid, unreasonable... etc, and my mom says "I'll talk to you when you've calmed down" but never does. I have Asperger's Syndrome (high functioning autism that only affects me socially), depression, and anxiety... NONE of which actually affects my thinking process. Yet, mom, who got a job as an assistant teacher in Special Ed when there was no requirement to get a degree in education/special ed/psychology/social work (or anything remotely helpful), thinks she's an expert in my disorders and also neglects to mention (when talking about me 'deluding myself' that she has two of those diagnosises), and somehow I'm abusive for disagreeing her assessment of my behavior (pretty sure I'd have offed myself if I had agreed with 5% of what she said). I see through it, most times, but because I live with two GCs, one who goes 5 hours away to college and is home maybe half of his breaks, another who is only home when his gf is over, and either an Edad with major FLEAS or a Ndad (he plays favorites all the time and it's bs), AND Nmom... literally, I'm the only one who sees this as it is, besides my therapist, so needless to say, I wonder if they're right some of the time and I'm the abusive selfish child... which, honestly doesn't make sense, because I only disagree or, worst case scenario, throw their insults right back at them (and get illogical grounding, including the stupid take my door thingy for disrespecting them), yet from my mouth it's abuse, from Nparents its constructive criticism. Apparently I don't listen, I don't care, I don't get it, I should know without her speaking, I should be a mind reader, I should know better... projection, much? Ugh, I feel you, so so much. I don't think you're gaslighting her... I think she's projecting, big time, and after a while, it gets to people. anyone who gets called abusive or crazy eventually wonders if the OP is right. You said she's high, on medicines, drugs and alcohol? Pretty sure that's a recipe for not only disaster, but delusions, memory loss, etc.

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread