How To Wipe Your Butt, The Definitive Guide for those who had neglectful parents?

As much as I love having my own personal spray park, these things aren't all they're cracked up to be.

  1. The water is cold. Yeah, you get used to it, but it's FUCKING COLD!

  2. The fixture sits on top of the bowl and the seat sits above that, tilted forward at an angle. You feel like you're about to tip forward and fall off the entire time you're on the toilet.

  3. The fixture hangs over the inside edge, so your seat hole and bowl hole are both suddenly smaller than you're used to. It's mostly an issue at 3am when you're desperately trying to stay half asleep.

  4. If you're an early flusher, you're fucked. The water pressure drops to zero at the sprayer the entire time the tank is refilling. All you can do is sit there humming the jeopardy! theme for 30 seconds.

  5. It's better than dry paper any day, but it's still only as effective as a no-touch car wash. Sometimes you have to wipe the rocker panels with a wet soapy towel to get completely clean.

/r/InternetIsBeautiful Thread Parent Link - howtowipeyourbutt.com