Depends on you, everyone experiences grief differently and as you age, and as you deal with horrible things, you may find your reactions changing.

First time I lost a relationship- a fiance, she didn't die, was just a cheater, I felt as if I'd been punched and the feeling didn't go away but spread, a mix of anger and grief.

The first time I lost a person permanently, my best friend and roommate killed himself, no warning. I was out of town, when I heard, first it was a long moment- seconds that felt like hours, of disbelief, of shock, I couldn't speak or think. I numbly ended the phone call as tears started pouring and I wept on and off for days. Looking back on it, the friend that died would have mocked me in a friendly way you do with friends relentlessly for it. Felt like I'd never be happy again.

And then half a year ago my Father died. It too was different. Most my tears came when we found out he was dying, when he was in extreme pain and nothing was helping. Months of numbness and looking back, I was probably more depressed over his loss than any before, took longer to behave like myself again. Still makes me numb thinking about it.