When I was young my biggest fear was not being liked, though I was in denial about that at the time. Fixed it with working out, meds, and taking risks/putting myself out there. my parents got divorced when I was 3 and I saw my dad maybe... 30 times counting then to now? I didn't really mind though for some reason, still don't. I didn't see him really as my dad but now I realized I still mimic-ed his personality growing up because everyone always loved being around him. He was a-lot of fun when he was younger (or I thought he was?) though the older I got I realized he had major issues (alcoholic, addict, etc.). My dad was in jail 5 times for drugs and skipping out on probation, rehab maybe 20? He has been married 5 times and divorced 5 times. Even after all that my little brother still admired him the most. He also had the hardest time with social anxiety, I didn't notice that my dad had the same anxiety issues till I was older. Funny how we are blind to things while we are growing up. My little brother also got hooked on drugs and ended up in rehab and jail once for b and e. You would never see it he was so polite and timid, I think it broke him inside. He died last year from medical issues, tried so hard to keep on the illegal drugs that he hit the legal ones hard. He didn't realize that the legal ones where only legal until a law could pass to make them illegal, so health codes didn't have to really qualify. In the end I found myself realizing the closer I came to what I always wanted to become turned out to be my biggest fear of becoming. Now it disgusts me when I see myself repeating the same behaviors. Though I also realize how hard it is to change the older you get, and actually feel a little sorry for the old man... but just a little.