Pre-post EDIT for clarity: Sorry for the wall of text. I got pretty carried away because I have insomnia and nothing better to do at 7 AM when everyone's asleep.
I'm 19 and 2/12 years old and I already gave up.
Back story: I'm a... "Food enthusiast." Which is a fancy way of saying obese.
Anyway...
Was into a childhood friend for about 8 years, was rejected, we drifted apart. A year later (with no talking to her) I moved away for 3 years, moved back, did one of those "truth is" things on Facebook about 4 years after moving back (so about 7 years of 0 contact total) and she liked it, so I told her I missed being friends. We started talking again, she asked if I still had feelings for her and I told her yeah.
I poured my heart into that girl, told her I never really stopped thinking about her, even after moving across the country and being in different relationships (which was 100% truth). I told her things about my life that I hadn't told my family, parents included, until about a year ago.
(This wasn't normal teenage drama and issues. I was molested at the age of 8 by my 13 year old cousin, and that went on weekly until I moved when I was 10, continued for a bit when I moved back from ages 13-14, and... I still have no idea how to handle that, so I don't. I just try to not be too depressed about it on a day-to-day basis)
Anyway, we went on dates and stuff. I mean, we didn't officially title it dating, but we would go out for ice cream and take our $2 McDonalds cones to the beach and just sit together and talk and watch the water a while on a really frequent basis, or go out to eat. This was actually during a relationship of hers that was going nowhere. I was thinking about asking her to officially be my Girlfriend, and found out she started dating some dude.
They broke up, we were chatting about what we wanted in a significant other, I told her "you," and she gave me a list of things she likes in a boyfriend (to which I met everything but appearance). She rejected me again, I took it hard, and then she started asking how she can get guys to notice her because no one wants to date her, and was constantly trying to talk to me about how much she liked all these guys and I couldn't handle it.
Eventually a good friend of mine asked her why she didn't like me, and her response was "I can't dislike someone for their personality?" That's how I knew it was about my extra weight, and not my personality because if it was my personality we wouldn't have been friends. I stopped talking to her, and I have been unable to... I guess form that link, that bond or... connection or feeling for another girl since. So I just stopped.
Shortly after that I started smoking pot more and picked up smoking Marb Menthols and have been buying a pack every two days since. It is what it is...