How is your mental health?

I have similar feelings there something wrong with me and I so badly wish I could just be the person I was before but idk how to get it back and I feel so embarrassed because I cant make the connection to what ever it is that people just want to ruin my life. I have nothing and I don't show off. I'm not all happy I don't have money or anything that would make me stand out to be picked on but some how I become the target for being present and now I wont leave my house or tell anyone anything except my kids. That is still not good enough now people say I have mental illness and that my kids are at risk, my kids reassure me they just cant thrive off of hurting me so they have to pull me out. But its become damaging I doubt my sanity and professional who are supposed to help cant tell me what I am doing where I am going wrong. Death felt like the only way out. I wont leave my kids alone I love them and I know it is wrong.

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