This is probably not what you want to hear, but there isnt something you can do to change others. What I mean is there isn't anything you can do that will make your family suddenly able to meet your need.

I've tried all my family, as you have probably tried too. I changed everything about me, and I spent most of times looking for ways to self improve hoping unconsciously that this would make my parents see me and love me. That one day they would wake up and look at me and suddenly I would be hugged, or they would notice when I'm sad and they would listen.

It didn't happen and it's not gonna happen. If they change it will be through their own accord not because I did something.

There is a book that is recommended in the forum here, "adult children of emotionally immature parents", I didn't read the book but I listened to the writer talk about emotional neglect in a podcast I often listen and I learned a lot about me.

She said how some kids react to emotional neglect by internalizing. She gave this example: "maybe the kid hears the mother praising how theyve been good to her friends" so they internalized that by being good they get attention, and positive attention, so they start seeking ways to do good, to self improve and they repeat that pattern as they grow and become adults.

Of course my summary is crap, but the fact that you are asking what