My mum was very young when I was born ( 17). She was dating my father ( nothing serious) and she got pregnant. She only knew it when she in her 4 month. My grandparents were very upset to her, because they wanted a good future for her ( to study in the Uni etc) but she decided to have me cause she felt me inside and she didn't doubt it. She forgot about uni. When my grandparents went to my other grandparents' house to tell them the news, they immediately thought about get rid of me. To give me in adoption. My father was not there, he was doing his army in another town ( they were a well positioned family and they didn't like my mother cause they thought she did it on purpose). So she left the house without wanting to know about them anymore. When my father came back to town they continued dating and after I was born, the married ( 18 and 21 years old). My father had problems with drugs ( I only knew it 9 years ago) so he went out the weekends and he came on Sunday or monday. They had many fights I lived, cries, shouts, etc. I was very closed to both of them. One day, my mum asked my dad the divorce and I just hear it all from my room and she moved to another town to work leaving me with my dad.
I felt she abandoned us by that time. So the weekends she came to be with me but I secretly hated her a bit. I couldn't understand why she left us.I lived for almost 3 years with my father, he started to be very ill, all his friends started to die and I didn't understand why. He was so sad. He knew he was going to die and he prepared me for that but nobody is prepared for a death at 11-12 years old.
He finally died, he had aids ( I didn't know it) but I saw all the death process and the wound it caused in the family. I tried to normalise the situation but it was not easy to behave as an adult. I am not going to mention here all the miseries I have been through in this period of time.
When I finished my school year I moved with my mum to the new town, with her new boyfriend and her, to a new school. I hated everything. I hated my life and all the happy people. I was very difficult by that time and I started to have issues with food because I hated myself.
Years went by, I knew the truth about everything and I put myself in my mum's skin. She has been a brave teen without youth because she had a child and a husband with drug problems. She didn't know anything about life and she had to live all this which is not easy at all.
That is why I understand her, I love her and although sometimes I don't like how she behaves or her way to see the world, I admire her.