tbh i always thought they did this on purpose but i guess it was unintentional.

I live with religious parents and I was raised Muslim. I was taught how to pray and all that. However, I don't believe in Islam. I wouldn't say I'm not religious but I certainly don't see myself following the path my parents want me to. I've known this for a while, yet I kept it to myself.

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Anyways, time flew and I was getting tired of doing things I didn't want to do constantly. So, I decided to confess to my dad, while he was driving me to their shop after Islamic school lessons that I of course didn't agree to, I believe I was eleven or twelve, it only happened a year ago (yes I am thirteen, will turn 14 in summer time).

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I told him I wasn't religious and that I hoped they would still love me the same. Then he started saying no a few times as I started sobbing. I thought it was like, oh no we will always love you the same. But I was wrong. He started telling me that they would disown me if I were to not believe in Islam and that it never happened in our family before, so what makes you think it's gonna happen in ours?

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So, I started sobbing a lot more. He was telling me that my mom was gonna be furious at me. We got to the shop and dad told my mom what happened. Then she started smiling at me and I was absolutely terrified. But she told me that she was just like me when she was my age and that she disliked praying just as much. Again, I thought everything was gonna be fine afterwards. Wrong again.

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Ever since, I would desperately try to make my mom understand that we didn't have the same beliefs, but every time I would 'rebel', she'd repeat what my father told me that day, would say that she wouldn't consider me her daughter anymore, that she'd throw me out of the house to go live with the whites (we're a black family). Hell, she'd threaten to beat me, would say that I was lucky that I wasn't beaten as a child unlike my two brothers.

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To this day, nothing really changed. I always doubt it whenever they say they love me.

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Funny enough, school was and still is my escape.

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